To honor this anniversary, I’m sharing one question and reflection per day for seven days, one for each year of this journey.

Today is Year Five.

If you missed Day One, you can read it here: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, & Day 4

Day 5 – Year 5 - I Found Myself Where I Wasn’t Looking

The year when things started to feel better.

I got out of the toxic environment I mentioned yesterday. I found something more human, a place where I learned a lot about myself. I was challenged in how I viewed the world, and I realized that my cultural background could be both a strength and a challenge when it came to connecting more deeply.

That year, my friend Scarlett, who I met in Costa Rica, came to visit me. It felt really comforting to have someone around who understood where I was, both physically and emotionally. She’d also gone through a very hard pandemic, and that brought us closer.

I want to acknowledge something really important: in this new chapter of life in NYC, I met the most incredible friends I could ever have asked for. I hope they feel it when they read these lines, because yes, I’m talking about you, my friend. ♡

Because I had shifted into a healthier environment, and because the world was slowly coming back to life, I took a full month off. A whole month! I sublet my apartment so I could afford to make a new dream come true: visit Hawai’i.

And it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

This is why I encourage people to think about their environment and how much it affects them. Because, and I mean this, you don’t have to stay where you live. You simply don’t. If it’s burning you down, if you can’t even hear what you need or want anymore, then what would be the point of staying?

I stayed at an Airbnb in the jungle of Hawai’i. I don’t drive, so I could only bike around, and if you’ve never biked on a volcano with a city bike… let me tell you, it’s not exactly effective.

But sometimes you have to put yourself in a situation that forces you to slow down. To rest. To read the books you bought but never opened on the subway. To make art. To be fully present in the moment. Hawai’i is so beautiful that you don’t need much, just your senses, your ability to observe, to feel appreciation, to be conscious.

After about ten days, I was finally able to say, “I’m ready to leave NYC.”

Being in nature, and being present, I found myself again.

Environment matters. If it’s polluted by other people’s voices, fights, pressure, the constant noise, the FOMO, the job you don’t like, the things you buy because you think they’ll make you happy… it becomes almost impossible to hear your inner voice. I knew I wanted to leave. But I felt stuck, because I thought I had to know exactly where I was going next.

Years go by like that. Until something, or someone, helps you shift.

I also met a guy that trip. He was the one who rented me my bike and offered to show me around the island. I remembered what my friend Nolen told me before I left NYC: in Hawai’i, you have to be open. Let things come your way. Don’t force. Just be.

Now, I live in Hawai’i.And I’m married to the bike guy.His name is Caine.

Today’s question is from a new friend in this community who’s writing her book right now:

How do you see culture show up in your clients who live in different parts of the country? And how do you help people grow beyond or honor cultural norms if they want to?

Fun fact: so far, every single one of my coaching clients has been from a culture different from mine. It’s been incredibly rewarding to learn from their beliefs and experiences.

I see culture show up in their belief systems, and especially in what they think society expects from them.

Because I come from multiple cultures myself, I’m able to challenge their beliefs. Not to impose mine, but to show them there are more options than they might think are possible. Not just based on my background, but based on everything I’ve lived, experienced, and overcome.

And I’ve been lucky to work with clients who trust me enough to ask hard questions, the kind that require looking beyond the box they’re in. That’s my job: finding what’s standing in the way of where they want to go. And sometimes, you need someone who believes in you when your entire world is telling you not to take a risk.

See you tomorrow for day six.

With Gratitude,Nina

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