The new year is coming and I feel… tired.

Not the kind of tired that a good night’s sleep fixes. The kind where I want to take a six-month nap and wake up when things feel lighter.

I don’t have that usual New Year energy… You know, the fresh start optimism, the “New Year, New Me” excitement, the hope that 2026 will be better. It’s just not there. And I don’t think I’m alone in this.

As the months got closer to the new year, I started feeling it too. This heaviness. Some people are busy enough that their heads are somewhere else, but most of us? We feel it. 2025 was a lot. And celebrating 2026, being positive about it - that feels off.

I am an optimistic person. But sometimes… Sometimes I need to be realistically honest. Not to kill the vibe, but because it needs to get out. It needs to be expressed. As you know, what we keep inside for any reason will eat you little by little.

The year ahead feels uncertain. Heavy. And I wonder: why even change the year?

I want to save my energy just to go through the year and stay focused on what really matters to me. I’m not giving up, I’m not faking excitement I don’t feel. And that helps me feel some peace with it.

I’m just choosing how I move through this anyway.

In January, I have to start the process of renewing my green card. I spent half of 2025 sitting with that decision - wondering if I should renew something that goes against what my heart wants.

I made my choice. I’m renewing it.

Not because it feels right. Not because my heart is at peace with it. But because it’s what I need to do right now.

Because if I have to not be free for a little while, it’s okay. It’s not definitive.

My whole self was screaming and shaking inside about this for months. Now I’m doing what I know what to do the best: stay focused, stay organized, and just do what needs to be done. Don’t think too much about it. Survive the doing of it.

And running my own business takes a lot of energy and time. I spend all my headspace on it. And I love the work - helping women through coaching, building something that matters. But I’m also trying to create more space for other things. More time with my loved ones, more time by nature, and more time away from screens. Swimming in the ocean. Reading books. And hopefully traveling. (wink)

Staying focused on my work became the anchor this year. I learned to detach myself from trying to control everything, and started practicing tools to help me to feel safer in my body. Even when the world around me is shaking.

Once a month for the past year, I’ve been gathering with a group of women for Tarot & Tea. We pull cards, share our readings, remember each other’s journeys from month to month. We share insights and perspectives on each others card’s spreads... I joined it because I’ve always loved tarot readings and I was looking to make friends here on the island, a year after I moved. Through the months, we became real friends. The kind where we share vulnerability and witness each other’s paths.

Saturday’s reading felt so aligned! The 9 of Wands came up for this past year. Resilience. Perseverance. Pushing through when you’re exhausted but you’re near the end of the challenge. That’s exactly what 2025 felt like - this constant inner strength I had to keep pulling from even when I was so tired. Still standing, still pushing through.

The Chariot for where I am now. Determination, willpower, moving forward with focused action. Steering your life toward your goals even when there are obstacles. This card confirmed what I’ve been doing - facing the green card renewal with focus and discipline. Pouring myself into my business and helping women through coaching. Protecting and nurturing my relationships. Keeping my direction clear, staying aligned with what I believe matters, with what I know is my purpose.

And the Page of Pentacles for 2026. Fresh ideas, positive momentum, new opportunities that reward focus and learning. I’m launching my own membership and a cohort with a special soul. I decided to start taking Reiki classes at the end of January with Katia - one of the women from our Tarot & Tea circle who’s become a good friend. We’ve been doing monthly lives together on YouTube, and now I get to learn from her as my Reiki teacher. And I’m hoping to be the guest to more podcasts and amazing conversations.

I’ve been healed with Reiki for years. I started when I was 20 years old; I had a special healer, Lalita. Now I want to learn it myself. It’s different from the coaching work I do, but I want to eventually add it to my coaching services. A way to dig deeper, to connect in a different way with clients who are open to it.

It’s about listening to the body, to energies, to what exists beyond the intellect. After listening to The Telepathy Tapes podcast, something opened up in me. This feeling of how powerful we really are. How everything we need is already within us. How deeply connected we all are. I want to learn how to work with that.

I also went to The Pause this week. I guess I’m filling up my cup of good energy. The Pause is a space where people come together for an hour and a half to pause, to pray, to share openly what’s heavy and what we’re hoping for. But also to listen, something that is much needed right now. A place to pause and be present with each other’s words, emotions, and energy. We talked about what we want to release and what we want to invite as the year changes.

For me, it’s releasing this scattered, all-over-the-place feeling that’s been following me around. Inviting more lightness. Trust in the process. For people that need my help, my coaching, to find me. Health. Peace. Freedom for all!

And on December 30th, with my special friends from Tarot & Tea, we’re doing a “Burning Shit” ceremony. Literally burning down what we don’t want to carry into the new year. Hey! What if you do that too with your special friends? Seriously.

I’m not pretending 2026 feels exciting. I’m not forcing hope I don’t have. But I’m also not waiting for things to feel better before I keep moving.

I’m choosing rituals. I’m choosing community. I’m choosing to invest in my own growth and in helping others even when I’m tired. Because I really believe that continuing to invest in the world we want to see, in a different way of living, in our mental health, in our personal growth, that’s how we create change. “Be the change you want to see in the world” right? Each person making a small shift echoes onto someone else, giving them opportunities to do the same.

So as this year ends and the next one begins. What energy do you want to be in? Which part of yourself needs more space?

Be honest with yourself rather than judging yourself. Not because you’re trying to be positive or optimistic when you’re not, but because you want to live in an honest state. Out of the lie and fully into self-love, self-validation, empowerment.

And if you are in a positive and optimistic state my friend, please feel it and live it! We are not all going through the same phase, and I want to acknowledge that too. So to you I would ask: if you could bring that energy into a small new part of your life, where would it be?

What are you intentionally releasing these next weeks? What do you want to invite into your life?

Reply and tell me - I read every response.

With gratitude,

Nina