When I was 20 years old I had a hard time expressing how I felt to others. Sharing when I was upset or had something personal to tell a friend.

At that time my best friend was in a fresh relationship and I wasn’t seeing her anymore. I wanted to express how I felt, how I missed her and how I was a bit frustrated that she wasn’t taking time to hang out anymore.

I’m sure you have experienced that in your life, a friend that isn’t available the way they used to be.

At that time one of my mom’s friends was seeing a healer who was working with people’s energy. Similar to Reiki.

What I liked about the idea of seeing that healer is that it wasn’t talking therapy. I felt that I needed a somatic therapy approach because there was something physical that was blocking me from talking.

My work with her was deep and profound. I discovered past family trauma that had been passed on to me because it was too heavy and maybe at that time those people didn’t have tools to process their pain. We got to talk about it with my parents and that liberated some conversation around it. What I was not aware of before was revealed.

I worked with that healer for a year or so.

In my mid-twenties I went to work with hypnosis for a while.
That was a really cool experience, to visit my unconscious and gain new awareness about myself.

After that I wanted to try something different, I went to see a therapist that practiced EMDR therapy to work on past traumas. To be able to process those traumas differently. To find peace, self-understanding and detachment from them so I could navigate the world without being triggered by it.

At that time, it helped me to quit a job that felt overwhelming. I felt able to speak out and leave that job feeling fully present and empowered.

In my thirties, I went to see a Chinese doctor and acupuncture practitioner. I loved it. I always fell asleep in those sessions and felt so relaxed after.

The Chinese medicine approach sees the body as a system of interconnected organs. When one is out of balance, the others feel it. Healing isn’t about fixing one symptom.

It’s about restoring harmony between the liver, the heart, the spleen, the lungs, the kidneys. Each one holds something. Anger, joy, worry, grief, fear. I loved that nothing is separate. They look at the full picture.

When I was 32 I went back to my magician energy healer.

I enjoyed her gift for reading me. I only talked for 10 minutes during the sessions. The rest of it was just me lying on the massage table getting healed by her and the playlist of songs of Native American drums…

I went back to see her because I had felt so good and her magic worked so well for me when I was 20 that I thought where I was in my life at that time would be the best help I could get.In Full Dark

When I went to see the healer the first thing I shared is that I felt as if I was in full dark with my eyes while open.

Did you ever feel that way? You are fully present, but you can’t see anything of what’s going on with you.

I couldn’t understand what I was missing. I went to my doctor to do some checkups, to figure out why I felt so tired all the time, unmotivated. My blood tests were fine. I was getting challenge after challenge.

A year before I had lost a job that looked great on paper but was not nourishing at all. Working with offshore companies in trading. And a year before that I had broken up with my ex long term boyfriend I was living with.

My healer helped me to slowly turn on the lights. To remove what didn’t belong. Feeling better in my head and body.

After a year I felt ready to embrace the risks of the joy of starting over in New York City. A place I had dreamed of since I had first visited when I was 17.

When I went to see the healer the first thing I shared is that I felt as if I was in full dark with my eyes while open. Did you ever feel that way? You are fully present, but you can’t see anything of what’s going on with you.

I couldn’t understand what I was missing. I went to my doctor to do some checkups, to figure out why I felt so tired all the time, unmotivated. My blood tests were fine. I was getting challenge after challenge. A year before I had lost a job that looked great on paper but was not nourishing at all. Working with offshore companies in trading. And a year before that I had broken up with my ex long term boyfriend I was living with.

My healer helped me to slowly turn on the lights. To remove what didn’t belong. Feeling better in my head and body.

After a year I felt ready to embrace the risks of the joy of starting over in New York City. A place I had dreamed of since I had first visited when I was 17.

When I think at that moment I often see the little window of her studio. As if when I said it out loud it became official.

In 2021, I joined a three-month workshop called “Sync to Thrive”, a women’s group led by a hormonal coach. That group of women helped me to focus on my health, my relationship with money, my emotions, my boundaries, and learn how to support my hormones.

Personal development, therapy, alternative medicine, psychotherapy, coaching helped me to understand myself better through the years and to get where I am today.

I cried, felt frustrated, and scared looking in the mirror and facing myself.

Studying life coaching for six months helped me to grieve parts of my past lives. To understand myself better but also to be more curious about others. To find more love for myself and so more for others.

I found more empathy and peace within.

When I hear from friends or fellow coaches that they think people don’t want to do self-work, it makes me sad.

I understand that facing traumas and some of us have really horrible things that happened, we learned ways to hide it, put layers on, to escape with addictions, to disconnect.
It’s a way to survive.
We do the best we can in the moment.
We cope with what we have available.

But the “if I don’t think of it, I’m good” isn’t really removing the pain. Because anything that you don’t face will follow you like a ghost.

It will show up in your relationships, at work, in and with your kids.
Your child might carry your traumas as their own.She helped me through the before, the decision and the preparation until I left Switzerland, on May 12th, 2018.

In 2021, I joined a three-month workshop called “Sync to Thrive”, a women’s group led by a hormonal coach. That group of women helped me to focus on my health, my relationship with money, my emotions, my boundaries, and learn how to support my hormones.

Personal development, therapy, alternative medicine, psychotherapy, coaching helped me to understand myself better through the years and to get where I am today.

I cried, felt frustrated, and scared looking in the mirror and facing myself.

Studying life coaching for six months helped me to grieve parts of my past lives. To understand myself better but also to be more curious about others. To find more love for myself and so more for others. I found more empathy and peace within.

When I hear from friends or fellow coaches that they think people don’t want to do self-work, it makes me sad.

I understand that facing traumas and some of us have really horrible things that happened, we learned ways to hide it, put layers on, to escape with addictions, to disconnect. It’s a way to survive. We do the best we can in the moment. We cope with what we have available.

But the “if I don’t think of it, I’m good” isn’t really removing the pain. Because anything that you don’t face will follow you like a ghost.

It will show up in your relationships, at work, in and with your kids. Your child might carry your traumas as their own.

And I know I am lucky to have grown up where the health system is well managed. Our mandatory-expensive-private health insurances covers 80 to 90% of our medical expenses.

I was able to try those different types of therapy not because I had to but as a way to reach a place of awareness and empowerment.

But personal work doesn’t have to happen with the help of someone.

Because at the end of the day it’s about you. It’s maybe, a luxurious way these days, to get over it faster, to have someone along the way that has your back while you are processing hard things.

But also, beautiful things.

I see how my clients slowly get their inner lights back, they are glowing.

How they get themselves out of the dark, the stuckness, the fears, the guilt, pain from wanting something different, all the things that were on their way.

I see people that rather stay in the complaining loop. Projecting on others making them the reason of their own unhappiness.

What others do or don’t do to them.
Putting the pain away hoping that one day it will miraculously disappear.
I see that in people that I love. It’s hard to see them in that space.

I think some of the challenges in life are there to teach us something, something that will be helpful in the future. So many of my experiences, jobs that I didn’t like in the past taught me skills that are useful for my business today.

I see a chain of events that led me where I am today.

I compare often life with a game, like Super Mario, where there are different levels. We can eat the mushroom and get bigger, faster and face adversity. And sometimes we have to go through the same type of experiences, levels, until we understand a lesson about ourselves and we are ready to beat a monster turtle and go to the next. Until we gain the skills, the self-awareness, and the courage to do things differently.

That self-work is an act of love. For yourself and for everyone who comes along, but also for the generations that will come after you.

I don’t blame anyone who’s afraid to look at the pain. To open up to a friend. To a stranger.

Traumas and what they create in us often lead us to find that everything about facing it feels unsafe.

In The Body Keeps the Score, they explain that we act in the way we think is best for us in the moment. That we return to what we know, even if it’s dangerous. The unknown is scary.

There is nothing wrong with it, we have to accept that we are complex creatures.

Maybe that’s what the work really is. Not a destination.Just the ongoing choice to stay curious about yourself, even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when it’s slow. We don’t have to do it perfectly. We just have to be willing.

When I was 20 years old my motivation was that I didn’t want to be stuck forever with my challenges. And you know what? I had new ones to take care of through the years and still do…

If you are in need of support or have a question, you can always reach out or comment.
I will be happy to answer you.

With gratitude,
Nina

If you are interested in learning more about my work as an empowerment coach, I invite you to visit my website for detailed information. There, you will find insights into my coaching:

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